I was finally able to explain to him what was troubling me. And as always, he understood. He also gave be back my dagger. He said I was going through enough to not have it. How is it tha he understands me so well? I really don't know what I would do without him. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not thinking of him when we are apart from each other. I can't wait til I get back from this trip so we can really spend some time together. Only a few more days or so and I'm heading off.

I hope everyone knows how much I will miss them while I am away, but this is something I must do. I hope to come back a better and stronger person when I do get back...........

With a little coercing from me and Ams, we were able to make Alloran an officer. I know he will do great. I am making all the final preparations for the short trip I will be leaving on. I have turned over leadership to Ams during my absence, just in case anything should happen while I am away. I just hope she knows how grateful I am to her for everything she has done for me personally during these last months. Al has also helped in more ways than he even realizes. I just hope he does know how much we want and need him here in the guild.

I haven't been able to catch up with Stan the past few days. How I do miss him terribly. He left me a note knowing how I am feeling at the moment. It's weird how he knows when I haven't even been able to speak to him, just leaving little notes in his pack, letting him know I'm thinking of him. I do hope it won't be much longer I can feel his arms around me.

I can't believe this, the first time in a long time, as I sit here writing this, I've ran out of ale. Must go find some before something bad happens................

I've been sitting here, thinking. Really, just reminiscing. I've made so many good friends since coming to these lands. Some that aren't here any longer, others that only wake every once in a while and still others that should be the most beautiful people in these lands as much as they sleep. It's the ones I don't get to see anymore that I tend to miss the most. I know I shouldn't think about things in the past, and for the most part, I don't anymore. I miss bein able to talk to Tus about stuff and how he would always evade my questions when I would try to figure out what was bugging him. I miss Trip and how I would always just ruffle his hair to make him growl. Corum and his ego, that always got me to laugh. Gareth and him puttin ice crystals down my back. And then there's the Chantress, how I do miss her and hope she's well where ever she may be.

But with each one that not so much leaves, but rests or takes a trip or what ever they may do, a new friend is made. Amalia, she's a godsend to me, not only is she great for the guild, but she really has been there for me through a lot and has helped me. Azeal, for just letting me cry so many times on his shoulder, then when I'm better, back to playing his tricks on me. Isis, she's great, for the guild and for keeping the ale fresh for the guild by drinking it all, along with Alloran's help. Asta, what can I say about that lil rogue, she's always brought a smile to my face. And then there's Stan. There's not enough parchment nor ink in the lands for me to write what he means to me and what he's brought me. The happiness, the joy I feel in my heart just knowing that he's there. With all of them, I really don't know where I would be today. How do I tell them or show them my gratitude for everything they have given me? Is that even possible???????????

He did it again, and this time, gettin the dagger back ain't gonna be as easy as before. How he does it, I don't know. I let my guard down for one second and BAM! I wonder how he would feel if I took his bag of powder, probably not too good. Must figure out a way to get it from him. I know I will in due time.

I've had to cut my hair short thanks to one of my trainees. I hate it now, it's right above my shoulders in length. I just hope it grows out quickly. I'm barely able to keep it tied back now. I don't know how others can handle short hair...........

Things are going good. Seems all I do is farm here lately. I helped Stan get his boots the other day, so he's ready for them when he advances again. I will have to keep a look out for that Mayor for him.

The guild is going great, I was able to sign in a new member the other day. Another one that keeps me on my toes. He was able to get me good by cutting some of my hair. Now I have to stay covered up until it grows back out. Ya know, most things I can handle, but he messed with the hair, he's in for it now. I know it's all in good fun, but I do hate when people mess with my hair. Will have to think of something to get him back.

I am farming away again. I've got a sponsee that I need to get the equipment together for. Hopefully she will be ready soon. I do enjoy bringing them to the temple. To see the excitement in their eyes, it reminds me all over again why I love being a mentor, even when I try to help out the more difficult ones. In the end, it's seeing the awe and the excitement that puts a smile on my face, and it also lets me know that they are here to help rid these lands. Isn't that the real reason why we are here anyways?????

So, I finally started my farmin again. Got a blue glowie right off. Sometimes I wish I could hand those things off. I know Stan needs them, plus a lot of other chanters out there that need them. But I know that isn't possible, so I will take it to the machine eventually.

He got me again, along with Az, both of them pushed me into the lake. Sometimes I wonder why I trust them around water, specially Stan. Seems everytime I do, I wind up in the water. Will definately have to get them both back for that. It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have on all my equipment. Do they know how long it takes for this dang armor to dry out? They will see, I'll get em both for that..........

We got back from Euthucan last night, and since then I have not been able to do anything but wander around. We are both so relaxed now. It felt good to spend that time with him. We went to the park, where he picked flowers for me and drew a picture of me for me. He is so thoughtful, kind, loving, I don't know what I would do without him.

We then went to the beach and had a swim and lay in the sun for a while. Just looking out over that strait reminded me why I love it so much there. And to be able to spend time with him there, well, it made it all that much better.

Now if I could just get my bum into gear and start farming again. Of course this happens each time I come back from there. He was able to level, still hasn't gotten his gauntlets yet, so will need to help him with that. Hopefully he can get them soon.

Ams approached me about something for the guild, and now I'm just waiting for her to give me the word on it. I think it will be a lot of fun for us all. I truly can't wait for this to happen.......

**stuck between the pages next to the flower is a drawing of some sort**

**stuck in between the pages is a wildflower**

Got another member signed in yesterday evenin. In a few more levels, I'll be taking her to the temple. She's a quick learner, that's for sure, which is what I like. It's those that really show true promise.

Haven't been able to talk to Stan in the past few days. Seems yet again when he's resting I'm awake or vise versa, but he did leave me a note saying he leveled and got his mask. I'm going to try to get him down in that volcano to get his gauntlets soon. I am so ready to take that short vacation with him, and hopefully it will be here real soon we can do so..........

Just been farming and waiting for the right time to head off. Things are going good. The things I need to speak to Ams about, I have done so. Seems everything is going good. Just the wait is getting to me.

I've been invited to a bonding. Never thought I would see Tristan get bonded, but he is. It's good to see those around me happy. Makes my heart sing with joy. There are still a few out there I worry about, but I know things will sort themselves out all in due time........

I was able to give the shard, scepter, and a little pressie to him last evening, to see the look on his face, wish there was some way to capture it. How I do miss spending time with him, but soon, we shall be off for a little bit.

There are a few things I need to talk to Ams and Isis about, about the guild, get their input on it before I head off, just seems we can't meet up together here lately. Hopefully soon though. It's nothin major, just wantin to get their input on a few possible new members before I sign anyone in. Will just have to make sure to get with them soon on this one. After I do what I need to do with this, think Stan and I will be off for a day or so.........

Well, I got the plat to Isis for the TB, and went ahead and opened it. I fainted when I saw the shard sitting there. First time I've ever opened a TB for anyone, let alone myself and got one of those. I mean, I farmed forever it seems like to get one, and finally was able to buy one from Trell to get my gauntlets, then this.....I'm still in shock. I will hold on to it for Stan. He will be needing it soon. So as soon as he wakes, I'll give it to him, along with the scepter I'm holding for him...............

I've not really done anything, besides spend time with Stan and talk to some friends. I really haven't been awake much, though, and I hate that fact, but there's really nothing I can do about it at the moment. So, I spend every moment I can with him and with my friends. They all understand, which is good, how I do cherish each and every one of them. Stan, Val, Ams, all of them, I do hope they know how much they mean to me and how I do cherish them all. Without them, I wouldn't be able to do all it is I do.............